Most couples advice assumes you’re married. This page is for couples who aren’t. You might be:
Your questions are different from a married couple’s. Should we move in? Are we on the same timeline? How do we handle money when nothing is legally shared? Coaching gives you a structured place to talk about these things before they turn into resentment.
Moving in is often the first big joint decision, and many couples make it quickly. A lease ends, rent is high, and it seems logical. Relationship researchers Scott Stanley and Galena Rhoades call this “sliding” rather than “deciding.” You end up in the next stage without ever choosing it together.
Coaching helps you decide on purpose. You’ll talk through what moving in means to each of you, whether that’s a step toward engagement or simply living together, and how you’ll handle chores, space, guests, and time alone. If you already live together, coaching helps you sort out the habits that formed without discussion.
This is the most common tension for unmarried couples. One of you is ready to get engaged, and the other isn’t sure, or isn’t sure yet. The longer it goes unspoken, the more it leaks into every other argument.
The partner who’s ready often feels rejected or afraid of wasting time. The partner who isn’t often feels pressured and pulls back, which makes the first partner push harder. Deadlines and ultimatums usually make this loop worse.
Coaching doesn’t push you toward engagement, and it doesn’t talk anyone out of what they want. It helps each of you say clearly what you want and why, and what’s behind any hesitation: money, past relationships, family, or doubts about this relationship. From there, you can see whether your timelines can meet. Sometimes the honest answer is that they can’t, and knowing that sooner is better than finding out years later.
Most couples have one or two fights they keep having. The topic changes, like dishes, plans, or phone time, but the pattern stays the same. One person raises a complaint, the other gets defensive, and it escalates or goes silent.
Coaching helps you spot the pattern while it’s happening. You’ll practice bringing up a problem without blame, taking a break before a fight spirals, and repairing afterward so issues don’t pile up.
Unmarried couples have to design their finances from scratch. Do you split rent 50/50 or by income? Keep separate accounts or open a joint one? Who pays when one person earns much more? Whose name goes on the lease or the mortgage?
These questions are about fairness and trust as much as money. Coaching gives you a calm way to agree on a system and revisit it as things change.
One point worth knowing: Washington courts recognize what’s called a “committed intimate relationship.” When a long-term unmarried couple separates, a court may divide property acquired during the relationship in a way similar to how it would for a married couple. Whether it applies depends on things like how long you lived together and whether you pooled money. This isn’t legal advice. If you’re buying a home or combining major assets, talk to a Washington family law attorney.
Premarital coaching is for couples who are engaged or close to it and want to go in prepared. You’ll work through the topics couples most often avoid until they cause a problem: money, kids, careers, where to live, family expectations, and how you handle stress and conflict.
The goal isn’t to find a reason not to marry. It’s to know each other’s expectations clearly before the wedding, when they’re easier to talk about.
coaching builds skills and helps you make decisions. Therapy treats mental health conditions and deeper emotional wounds.
A licensed therapist in Washington, such as a marriage and family therapist (LMFT) or mental health counselor (LMHC), can diagnose and treat conditions like depression, anxiety, or trauma. Coaching doesn’t diagnose or treat anything. It focuses on the relationship’s present and future.
Coaching usually fits when:
Therapy is the better choice when:
Seattle’s cost of living puts pressure on relationships at the exact moment couples are deciding what comes next. When rent is high, moving in can feel like a financial decision as much as a relationship one. That’s one reason “sliding” into living together is so easy here. Make the decision about the relationship first and the rent second.
Many Seattle couples are also transplants. When both partners moved here for work, family is often a flight away. The “Seattle Freeze” can make building a shared friend group slow. It’s easy to end up relying on each other for almost everything, which puts a lot of weight on one relationship.
Long work hours add to that. When both people are tired, the conversations that keep a couple steady get pushed to “later.” Online sessions help here. There’s no drive across the city, and you can join from the same couch or from two different offices.
A short video call with both of you about what's going on and what you want from coaching.
We look at your relationship history, your goals, and the patterns or decisions you're facing.
You practice specific skills and work through the big conversations with structure.
We review progress and decide together when you're ready to stop.
Couples coaching works best with both partners, since the work is about how you interact. If your partner isn't ready to join, you can start with [individual coaching] and focus on your side of the pattern.
No. The coach helps you each get clear on what you want and talk about it honestly. The decision stays with you.
No. Many couples start before a big step, like moving in or getting engaged, because it's easier to build good habits than to fix bad ones later.
No. Sessions are online, so couples anywhere in Washington can book, including couples who live apart.
+1 (470)-973-2812
Seattle, WA
research.development.cbs@gmail.com
